My real name

Well, first up, I’ll have a status update. I am having some problems. Im family terms, things aren’t going so well. I won’t dive into loads of secrets, but still, I won’t say much.

Anyway, I’m going to practice going into Let’s Playing, so I’m going to record my voice and play some Halo Reach Firefight in all the Firefight arenas. I had fun just screaming my head off at some things, and I barely survived it with one life. XD. You’ll see when I get to work tomorrow. I might curse though, and I’ll have to learn how to bleep my words, but I’ll refrain from cursing.

So, wait for that tomorrow.

Hello again viewers, I’m just posting up as usual, another vent. First off, I was glad to hear from Soph today, and some good news from her. It makes me happy knowing that she’s doing great. I won’t share any details though on our conversation, my imaginary viewers and Soph. That stuff is private, or as most say, “It’s for me to know, and you to never find out.”

Other than that, I didn’t have a great day on my end. See, my brother and I worked our butts off recently, and yet my aunt restricts us from playing our games, so we decided to break the rules because we believed that we deserved it after our hard work. Now, after some playing and we had our fun times, we even bonded at the end of the night when we watched ‘Despictible Me’ but then it went all downhill from there.

When my aunt came home, I told her about Matt finding his missing DS, and she explained to me that she had it locked in her room, which meant that my brother broke into it without me knowing, and me, trusting him again, fell for it once more. I’m losing faith in a brother. I feel terrible again, and I hate feeling like this. Shoudl you trust someone that always backstab you every time you feel like he’s changed?

Yeah, it’s been forever since I came here again, but it’s more of my status update than a rant or a vent.

For the past few days, I’ve been working hard for my guardians and my aunt. Thanks to this economy, my uncle lost his second house, so it means that my aunt, cousin, and grandfather are moving in with us. That spells out chaos for me. Things are really changing here at my house and my life for a while.

Next, I have college probation, which really puts a damper on my current works, since I have to put everything on hold for a while. I really have to step it up to get the probation off my back for a while.

Days like this make me wish that I really had someone to just tell me things would be all right.

~PerfectPhoenix/Mikee

Well, I’m back after a while. I guess I’ll keep coming to just let out my feelings. Grades came in and I finally revealed to my Guardians about it, and well, he was not happy. Not happy meaning that he was disappointed, I’m a failure, why bother going to college, etc, etc.

The funny thing is while the natural process of the anger rises up, I’m realizing something. I’m currently losing everything that I used to fight for. My life, I always promised my mom I would continue living it no matter what happens, but now, it will be a promise that I can’t stand anymore. I’m not thinking of suicide, heck no. Never. That’s not me.

It’s just that when the dust clears, whatever remains will be there forever, but now, I don’t have anything. i don’t have any friends who keep in touch anymore due to them working on something, I don’t have any friends in real life, I don’t have no one to depend and lean on for support. The only thing I have is myself. I have to support this pillar of life, and it’s now beginning to crush me. I’m afraid, no, so very afraid that when the years go by, I’ll be living a lonely life. I can’t fall in love. My mouth just stays quiet the whole time. My life just failed. There’s no other explaination about it.

All my hopes of falling in love, all my reasons for fighting are fading with the rain on my day, and I’m just slowly losing my motivation.

What’s to fight for when you have nothing but your life?

~PerfectPhoenix/Mikee

Yeah, I apologize for not blogging earlier. I took the tests after all the studying I did for it and then when grades were posted online, they said failed. I went to check on the History class and I lost a point. See, before the test, I had 571 points. 600-699 was a D, and that’s what I was aiming for, but when the smoke settled, I lost it. I got what I wanted for the test, and then the point was lost and I failed the class. I am going to hear it from my uncle and aunt after I tell them soon enough. I’m just going to wait until my 3D class comes in. My other two: Physical Science and Math, were B’s, and I was happy for that.

I also apologize because in celebration of summer break and my start for a new life, I bought myself a Wii with the game Super Smash Bros Brawl, so I was hooked on that, training and challenging others online, including some friends on an old site I hung out on, Animal Crossing Community.

Anyway, last reason was because either my phone isn’t working well, or none of my friends are keeping in touch with me. I understand Soph’s problem, and a small group welcomed me on ACC, but no one has chatted to me since. It gets me pretty sad, but yeah, I’m sad about that.

Well, good posting and I hope I’ll retain my daily midnight posts. :P

~PerfectPhoenix/Mikee

*Sigh* Tomorrow is the big Test Day for several classes for me. I know I’ll do great, and even if I don’t, then I’ll explain that I tried my best. It’s just that things are going to change in the summer. I can feel the big changes that are going to happen later on in the future. My driving, my drive to get a job, and my drive to fall in love. It will all happen during this summer break. I know it will.

Well, my tests are Science and History, and for Thursday is my 3D animation class project is due, and I only have some stuff prepared for it. I’m going to have to pull all nighters to finish that up.

Well, I’ll give you guys a report on how things go. See ya then!

~PerfectPhoenix/Mikee